Education

10 Easy Steps to Help You Become a Good Parent

10 Easy Steps to Help You Become a Good Parent. Parenting is a responsible task. We tell you how to upgrade the skills of moms and dads to raise a happy child.

1. Stay close

One of the important truths is that you can’t be near a child while thinking in another place.

You cannot play dinosaurs with children and think about business at the same time. This does not work.

You must be completely with your child. Accept the philosophy of “wherever I am, you are by my side.”

2. Engage in co-creation

With the help of creativity, the child learns the world around him, experiences different emotions and learns to cope with fears. It also develops imagination, creativity and a sense of beauty. Try to do something together: sculpt, draw, cut out shapes, take pictures. Creativity is everything that is filled with beauty, inspiration and imagination.

3. Make environmental care a priority

In order for children to learn to value a different point of view and show empathy, they need to constantly hear from you how important care is. And also understand that the world does not revolve only around them. Teach them to turn off the TV and help you around the house, be polite, even if they are in a bad mood, and not interrupt people during a conversation.

4. Love without reservation

Often, to teach a child a lesson, parents deprive him of love: for poor grades they show their dislike, for a broken phone they leave without sweets. In this way they demonstrate that love must be earned. First, the child must clean the apartment, eat all the vegetables, but only then he can be hugged or praised. It is not right.

The stronger the support that the child receives is determined, the lower the perception of one’s own value as a person.

Children who receive love with reservations turn into adults who underestimate themselves and constantly criticize. But the lucky ones who deserve absolute acceptance grow into more harmonious and confident personalities.

5. Do not forget about intelligence

The authors of parenting books, Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne-Bryson write: “During development, the child’s brain mirrors what happens in the parents’s brains.” That is, when you replenish your level of knowledge and learn to manage emotions, your children also reap these benefits. This means that improving intelligence is one of the greatest and most generous gifts you can give your child.

6. Read and discuss books

Reading is an important stage in the development of children. To instill a love of literature will help a personal example. If a child constantly sees you with a book, he will also want to read in the end. But one example is not enough. Read books together and discuss what they read. So you will help the child to develop speech and imagination, arouse in him a thirst for knowledge, teach to think.

7. Empathize with the child

Children learn empathy by observing adult relationships. Therefore, it is so important to show an example of the correct relationship to each other. Be attentive to children, take an interest in their affairs and well-being: this way you will become closer to them, create an atmosphere of trust, security and form a desire to give the world good.

8. Expand your care

Empathy requires practice — within and outside the family. It is important to first teach the child how to take care of relatives and then empathize and help strangers. Show that you need to be careful about those who are different from us, who are defenseless and weak. Give your child simple tips on how to act in order to comfort and support your neighbor.

9. Hug children more often

Touching and hugging is not just pleasant. When we hug someone, oxytocin is released (it is called the “hug hormone”) and we feel love and a surge of tenderness. Emory University even found a connection between touch and stress reduction.

If you hug children more often, they better cope with difficulties in adulthood. And kids who are deprived of touch can be late in development: they begin to talk and read later.

10. Remember that perfection does not exist.

Most parents always want to do everything right and blame themselves for every mistake. Yes, to be an example is a lofty goal. But parents should show their children their imperfection and teach them how to overcome the difficulties of life .

If you reproach yourself for any mistakes, then just remember the words of Professor Bren Brown: “It is the ability to admit one’s imperfection that helps instill in children the courage to be real, compassion for themselves and other people and the unity that gives a person the true purpose and meaning of life.”

The article was prepared on the basis of the books “ Magic of the morning for the whole family ”, “ Parenting by the heart ”, “ Hormones of happiness ”.

Read also

  • 14 Tricks Education From Swedish Will Help Grow Personality Traits

    14 Tricks Education From Swedish Will Help Grow Personality Traits. Sweden consistently included in the top ten of the happiest countries in the world. Therefore, Swedish parents probably know how to grow a successful and contented person. Children are allowed to eat sweets only one day a week, but you can splash around in puddles around the clock.

    We found out the intricacies of the Swedish parenting system and found out how they help grow self-sufficient people.

    1. Children are allowed everything

    14 Tricks Education From Swedish Will Help Grow Personality Traits
    EAST NEWS  

    Jump and get your clothes dirty – in Sweden you can do everything that you have forbidden for your child for years. The Swedes believe that this is part of the natural development of the child, which should not be limited. Therefore, to send a child in clean clothes to a kindergarten, and pick it up in the mud is normal practice. The Swedish mother is more likely to blame herself for “wallpaper painting”: she probably did not pay enough attention to the child.

    • Compared to other countries, our children can do a lot. From the age of 4, I played with my friends unattended. Mostly outdoors. Often we drove bicycles, and if the rain was too heavy, we stayed in their room.  Johan Olofsson / Quora
    • In Sweden, their child protection is so severe that if a policeman saw you screaming at your child in the middle of the street, they would actually threaten to arrest you. In the school that I attended (ISSR), there were many children that are good, because of their parents’ kind actions towards them, and then their are some who take advantage of this. For example, I knew some 16 year olds who were pregnant and were smoking. The main objective of these child protection acts are the hope that the children will pass on this kindness to their own children, and then to the rest of the world. In some ways, it works, and in others, it doesn’t. Astrid Allen / Quora

    2. The number of teachers in kindergartens change throughout the day

    14 Tricks Education From Swedish Will Help Grow Personality Traits
    EAST NEWS  

    For example, in the youngest group of 15 people, at least 3 educators. That is, there are no more than 5 children per adult. If one of the children has difficulty adapting to kindergarten or other problems, the group will receive another teacher.

    The number of employees depends on how many children are in the group at a given moment. Parents indicate what time they work, and can leave the child in the garden only for this period.

    • I have two kids, 5 and 11 years and I´ve spent as much time home with them as my wife has. She had the first month or two and then we split the time with them equally until they where about 2 and we left them at kindergarten part time. We constantly stepped up and worked full time when they where about 3-4 yrs or something. Frank Isaksson / Quora
    • Near my house there is a kindergarten. When children play outside, there are always several educators with them. Passing by, I hear that the children speak Swedish and English. © Chris Ebbert / Quora

    3. Parents in a divorce divide the child in half

    14 Tricks Education From Swedish Will Help Grow Personality Traits
    pexels  

    If the parents get divorced, the child continues to communicate with each of them equally. He lives with his mom for one week, and dad for the next. A kid can be given up to someone alone, only if the former spouse suffers from addictions. A distinctive feature of upbringing: they talk with children a lot and explain what can be done and what cannot.

    • Parents have equal custody rights, and paternity does not depend on whether the couple was married. In general, in Sweden, the child has more rights to guardianship, and not adults to guardianship.  Alan Waller / Quora
    • My brother and his ex have 3 children, and they can’t agree on something, so they often meet in court. But children still spend the same amount of time with both parents. Moreover, the couple has never been officially married. Johanna Appelber / Quora

    4. Children are not allowed to be beaten

    14 Tricks Education From Swedish Will Help Grow Personality Traits
    EAST NEWS  

    In 1979, Sweden became the first country in the world to prohibit any physical abuse of children. The maximum punishment a little Swede can get is an offer from parents to go sit in their room and think about their own behavior.

    • Parents’ right to spank their children was actually removed in 1966, in 1979 an express prohibition of it was incorporated into the Parental Code. I was not born when the law incriminating spanking was passed, but we studied the law during jurisprudence class in law school. At the time, more than half the population was of the opinion that parents should be able to spank their children, but the government passed the law anyway. As a result, less than 10% of the public had that opinion in 1994. It is brought up as an example that you can change peoples’ opninions through laws. Parents spanking their children can be charged for battery, which could result in a prison sentence. Ching_chong_parsnip / Reddit

    5. Grandparents do not interfere in education

    Older residents of Sweden take care of their grandchildren only when they themselves want it. Parents may ask grandparents to sit with their child, but it is advisable to warn them about this in a couple of weeks. Young people have an dynamic life, and finding a half day in a busy schedule can be difficult. It is simply impossible to hear moral advice and parenting advice from Swedish grandmothers.

    • Grandparents rarely live with older children. Sometimes they help grandchildren if they live close. But this is not necessary, because we ourselves take care of the children. Relatives should not be economically or socially dependent on each other.  Valdemar Hedin / Quora
    • When I visit other countries, something strikes me: families of 2 or 3 generations, having lunch together in a restaurant. I have never seen this in Sweden. Ted Dus / Quora

    6. There is no gender separation of toys

    That in dolls, that both boys and girls can play in cars . In this country, it is not considered that toys should be gender-appropriate. Children are not limited in choosing their favorite color, for example, no one will be surprised if the boy asks to buy him pink clothes or utensils.

    • Children do not need imposed stereotypes, but they need to know how their bodies work and that we are all different. Soon I will have a daughter. And I don’t like it if someone says that she can’t do something because she’s a girl. I’ll buy books about strong women for her so that she doesn’t learn the misconception that “girls can only be cute and play with dolls”.  Maria Fors / Quora
    • There are no toys “for boys” and “for girls”; children are treated equally. Girls are not taught to suppress anger, and boys are not taught that they should not cry or be sad. Boys attending gender-neutral pre-school institutions are better socialized and more willing to make friends with children of different sexes.  Keeley Mountford / Quora

    7. From an early age, children take care of themselves

    14 Tricks Education From Swedish Will Help Grow Personality Traits
    pexels  

    Children learn the simplest things to take care of themselves shortly after reaching one year. Children eat, clean dishes and toys on their own, change clothes – in kindergartens children are told not only about their rights, but also about basic household duties.

    • With freedom comes responsibility. We knew perfectly well what we were not allowed to do on our own, for instance that ice on ponds and brooks is dangerous, or which roads were forbidden due to heavy traffic. We were supposed to look after each-other. And we did. We were also supposed to protect each-other from bullying. But that didn’t always work as well. Johan Olofsson / Quora
    • What does it mean to grow up in Sweden? The fact that from childhood on a person has a great responsibility, because your parents trust you.  Marita Elg / Quora

    8. Women in the situation take very few tests, and the doctor does not conduct pregnancy

    Pregnancy is usually done by midwives or nurses, not doctors. People are invited to receptions less often than in other countries, and ultrasound is done only once. Closer to the deadline, women in labor are offered to write wishes: in what atmosphere and posture would the woman want to give birth, would she need pain relief, etc.

    9. After school, almost no one enters the university immediately

    Most often, after graduation , the guys get a job or go on a trip (the money for which they accumulated while working on school holidays). For at least six months, most graduates seek themselves and try to understand what they want to do. If during this time young people understand that university education is indispensable, then they enter a university.

    • In Sweden there are 2 periods for admission to the university. To enter in February, the application must be submitted before the end of July. And in order to start studying in September, documents should be submitted before the end of March.  Shyam Yadav / Quora
    • Usually they finish school at 19, after which you can do whatever you want. You can go to work, go to college or university, go on a trip or something else. It is not customary to put pressure on children to continue their studies.  Jessica Nilsson / Quora

    10. Maternity leave is given to both mom and dad

    14 Tricks Education From Swedish Will Help Grow Personality Traits
    unsplash  

    A parental leave lasts 480 days, with each parent required to take at least 90 days. The remaining weeks can be distributed among themselves in any order. Dads think it helps to get to know their own children.

    For parents there is a special resource “Katya Stroller”: indicating the place of residence and interests, you can organize a joint walk with other moms or dads.

    • Might not be representative to the entire country, but a male colleague of mine was recently gone for a full year and came back to a pretty sizeable promotion. GrandmaBogus / Reddit
    • Some companies make additional payments (80% of the earnings are paid by the government) on maternity leave. Therefore, it is not so unusual to receive 100% of your usual salary at this time. Sanzet / Reddit

    11. Pregnant women are not anxious

    Pregnancy in Sweden is not considered a reason to treat a woman in a special way. Without a request, they will not give up their place. But if you ask for help, they will do it with care. Some women in childbirth say that this attitude makes it easier to endure pregnancy – many, for example, continue to go to work until the 9th month

    • Women who do heavy or risky work (such as working on construction sites) are eligible for additional maternity benefits if they decide to go on maternity leave earlier.  Jessica Nilsson / Quora
    • The Swedish healthcare system gives women the opportunity to decide when and how to take time off to care for a small child; also, the system is set up such that your old job will still be there for you even after a quite long absence.. Erik Johansson / Quora

    12. Before operation, the doctor makes contact with the child for several months

    For some operation (for example, under general anesthesia) a child can be prepared for several weeks. During this period, the child comes to the clinic, communicates with the doctor and nurses to more friendly. An operation is prescribed only when the doctor considers that the child’s psyche is ready. At the beginning the mom sticks funny stickers with analgesic effect on the veins so that the baby would not be scared.

    13. Children eat sweets only on Saturdays

    14 Tricks Education From Swedish Will Help Grow Personality Traits
    pexels   pexels  

    For sweets in Sweden there is a special day – Saturday . The tradition says: on this day you can eat as much sweet as you want. On the remaining days of the week, giving sweets to children is not accepted. Thus, teeth are exposed to harmful effects only once a week, and this minimizes the risk of tooth decay. Many adults also continue to follow this rule.

    • By the mid-1950s, authorities decided that the population, especially children, had problems with their teeth. They wanted to improve the situation, so they introduced a rule: children were allowed to eat sweets only once a week – on Saturday. Such a measure made this day special.  Mark Schneider / Quora
    • We Swedes love our traditions. For example, on Fridays we have a movie evening with snacks, and on Saturday we can afford to eat sweets.  Kajsa Berglund / Quora

    14. The Swedes have a peculiar idea about the prevention of allergies to gluten.

    For a long time, the Swedes did not give products containing gluten to children under one and a half years of age, which is why the number of allergy sufferers in the state increased sharply. After numerous studies, they decided to treat allergies using the opposite method, starting to introduce a small amount of gluten into the diet from an early age. The situation is the same with nuts.

    Which of these educational features would you introduce? And which, on the contrary, puzzles you?

    Preview photo EAST NEWS

  • 16 Evidence That Teaching Children is Still Hard Work

    They say that the profession of a teacher requires not only a colossal level of knowledge, but also steel nerves. To all this you need to add a genuine love for the students. Frankly, few people manage to combine all 3 qualities, which is why sometimes teachers find themselves in different awkward or simply strange situations.

    Happy Worthy Life knows that a teacher is a real calling, the path to which can be long and thorny. We found those teachers who obviously had to sweat before gaining the trust of parents and the love of students.

    • I am a tutor. Before the holidays, my mother complained to me at the department, saying why I was going to have a rest in the summer, because my parents wanted to go with me to rest, so as not to injure the child with another teacher, and they had a vacation only in October. And I’m a bad teacher, because I took my vacation with my husband in the summer. © Nurzia / pikabu
    • I teach in a preschool. All employees are women under 26 years old. There is one man – he is the dean. Our dress code is not draconian: you can’t, for example, short shorts, bare bellies and all that. Now it’s hot, and most of the employees go in T-shirts. I also decided to wear it. In the evening, the parents came for the children, and daddies looked at me strangely. The next day the director calls me. Moms called her and complained that I could see the neckline. To my objection that the other girls wear T-shirts and nothing, they told me that I look different and the T-shirt looks different on me, which means I can’t wear it. Double standarts! © shakingunder / reddit

    • The girl asked for 2 extra weeks to complete the homework. She said that her younger sister was hit by a car and is now in serious condition. Of course, the teachers allowed her. One teacher even went to their home and anonymously left $ 500 at the doorstep. The story went to the administration. They organized a fund for donations, and the director personally went to the family to offer help. Student’s mother: “She has no sister. She came up with this so that she was allowed to not do homework at school. ” © Sean Thomas / quora
    • Once, in a social science lesson, the teacher asked the class a question: “How do you feel about the fact that some parents keep their children in black gloves?” I, a lover of expressing my opinion, immediately raised my hand and said: “I think this is very cruel! Why go home with mittens, if it’s so warm? And the hedgehogs are probably also very thick, this is a mockery! ” Since then, I think it is better to remain silent, and sometimes I am afraid to answer a question so as not to freeze another nonsense. © ideer
    • I have a few friends friends on facebook. Once I wrote a post about the fact that I constantly have the same nightmare: I am in the chemistry class, the exam is about to begin, but I did not attend classes before and do not know anything at all. A chemistry teacher wrote a comment under a post that his ongoing nightmare is my stay in his class. © Notmyrealname / reddit

    • There were 110 people at the lecture. I talked about human psychology, and specifically about why people tend to do the same as most do. One guy fidgeted uneasily in his place and looked for something under the table and around him. Something clicked in my head, and I said, pointing to the door: “Pikachu over there.” An excited guy shouted: “Where ?!” They laughed for a long time. My son told me about this game just the day before. © Bill Connelly / quora

    • Our math teacher was very strict, so no one loved her. And everyone mocked her in different ways. About 15 years old, I told her that I ruined the notebook with my homework and therefore could not complete the task (in fact, I just did nothing). After class I was asked to stay. Instead of yelling at me, the teacher began to gently ask if everything at home is good, if anyone is mocking me and so on. At that moment, I first realized that she was a person who has her own feelings. I felt so ashamed that we mocked her. Since then, I behaved normally in the classroom. © SilentSamamander / reddit
    • For months I was harassed at school. The occasion was clothing. No matter what I put on myself, the leadership was unhappy. Cardigan? No! Turtleneck? No! You could only wear a shapeless shirt, and everything else was considered “provocative.” I thought a little and found a solution: I began to tie various vintage scarves around my neck to cover my big chest. But the leadership took and forbade wearing scarves! And all because I have a very large chest, which for some reason annoyed everyone. © kissmybunniebutt / reddit
    • It was necessary to write a note to the English teacher about the reason for the absence of the child. “What is the name of the teacher?” “Chicha.” After a moment of confusion, I say that you can’t give nicknames, this is ugly. Again I ask: “What name?” To which the son indignantly: “Mom, well, Chicha! When she enters the classroom, we always say “Hello, chicha!” ”For the rest of the evening, the names of the teachers were memorized. © ideer
    • I’m afraid of trembling my son’s math teacher. If she suddenly calls me to school, then I am always barely going to. While she tells me about her son, I constantly agree with her in order to quickly end the conversation. And when I leave the classroom after a conversation, I immediately run to the cafe to eat a couple of desserts and relax. Mum. 43 years. © ideer

    Have you had any interesting cases at school? Share with us in the comments.

  • 10 Easy Steps to Help You Become a Good Parent

    10 Easy Steps to Help You Become a Good Parent. Parenting is a responsible task. We tell you how to upgrade the skills of moms and dads to raise a happy child.

    1. Stay close

    One of the important truths is that you can’t be near a child while thinking in another place.

    You cannot play dinosaurs with children and think about business at the same time. This does not work.

    You must be completely with your child. Accept the philosophy of “wherever I am, you are by my side.”

    2. Engage in co-creation

    With the help of creativity, the child learns the world around him, experiences different emotions and learns to cope with fears. It also develops imagination, creativity and a sense of beauty. Try to do something together: sculpt, draw, cut out shapes, take pictures. Creativity is everything that is filled with beauty, inspiration and imagination.

    3. Make environmental care a priority

    In order for children to learn to value a different point of view and show empathy, they need to constantly hear from you how important care is. And also understand that the world does not revolve only around them. Teach them to turn off the TV and help you around the house, be polite, even if they are in a bad mood, and not interrupt people during a conversation.

    4. Love without reservation

    Often, to teach a child a lesson, parents deprive him of love: for poor grades they show their dislike, for a broken phone they leave without sweets. In this way they demonstrate that love must be earned. First, the child must clean the apartment, eat all the vegetables, but only then he can be hugged or praised. It is not right.

    The stronger the support that the child receives is determined, the lower the perception of one’s own value as a person.

    Children who receive love with reservations turn into adults who underestimate themselves and constantly criticize. But the lucky ones who deserve absolute acceptance grow into more harmonious and confident personalities.

    5. Do not forget about intelligence

    The authors of parenting books, Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne-Bryson write: “During development, the child’s brain mirrors what happens in the parents’s brains.” That is, when you replenish your level of knowledge and learn to manage emotions, your children also reap these benefits. This means that improving intelligence is one of the greatest and most generous gifts you can give your child.

    6. Read and discuss books

    Reading is an important stage in the development of children. To instill a love of literature will help a personal example. If a child constantly sees you with a book, he will also want to read in the end. But one example is not enough. Read books together and discuss what they read. So you will help the child to develop speech and imagination, arouse in him a thirst for knowledge, teach to think.

    7. Empathize with the child

    Children learn empathy by observing adult relationships. Therefore, it is so important to show an example of the correct relationship to each other. Be attentive to children, take an interest in their affairs and well-being: this way you will become closer to them, create an atmosphere of trust, security and form a desire to give the world good.

    8. Expand your care

    Empathy requires practice — within and outside the family. It is important to first teach the child how to take care of relatives and then empathize and help strangers. Show that you need to be careful about those who are different from us, who are defenseless and weak. Give your child simple tips on how to act in order to comfort and support your neighbor.

    9. Hug children more often

    Touching and hugging is not just pleasant. When we hug someone, oxytocin is released (it is called the “hug hormone”) and we feel love and a surge of tenderness. Emory University even found a connection between touch and stress reduction.

    If you hug children more often, they better cope with difficulties in adulthood. And kids who are deprived of touch can be late in development: they begin to talk and read later.

    10. Remember that perfection does not exist.

    Most parents always want to do everything right and blame themselves for every mistake. Yes, to be an example is a lofty goal. But parents should show their children their imperfection and teach them how to overcome the difficulties of life .

    If you reproach yourself for any mistakes, then just remember the words of Professor Bren Brown: “It is the ability to admit one’s imperfection that helps instill in children the courage to be real, compassion for themselves and other people and the unity that gives a person the true purpose and meaning of life.”

    The article was prepared on the basis of the books “ Magic of the morning for the whole family ”, “ Parenting by the heart ”, “ Hormones of happiness ”.

  • 9 Reasons Why Grandmothers Should Not Raise Your Children

    When a child appears in a young family, many grandmothers begin to offer their help in the care and upbringing of the baby. The only pity is they rarely follow the instructions left by moms and dads before leaving for work. Against this background, conflicts often ripen . In the teaching methods of older parents there will always be a number of indulgences for which they themselves can be “put into a corner.”

    Happy Worthy Life only for contact between generations. But still, we decided to consider the reasons why it is better to raise children on our own, without enlisting the support of grandparents.

    1. Outdated child care practices

    Previously, children were bathed at a temperature of 37 degrees, but now they are tempered from the diapers and bathed at 33–34 degrees and even lower. In the Soviet Union, children were fed cow milk and juices. Now there are milk formula, which includes all the necessary vitamins. Previously taught that it is necessary to swaddle tightly. But think: is there at least one living creature on the planet that does not allow its cub to move? Despite this, the grandmother will, of course, go along the beaten path and not listen to your “nonsense from the Internet.”

    What to do: Do not be afraid to argue and explain that now life has changed a lot and much of what was right in the past has become meaningless . Make a condition that if a grandmother wants to participate in the care process, then she must do this according to the new rules.

    2. Imposing one’s parenting model

    The methods of education that were adopted 30 years ago are significantly different from modern ones. The current grandparents were kept in strictness. When they gave birth to their children, it was widely believed that you can’t take a child into your arms, otherwise you “tame” it – you need to ignore it, saying that the newborn will scream and calm down. Therefore, they still underestimate the importance of showing warmth and love in a relationship with a baby.

    What to do: Parents should immediately establish the rules for communicating with their child for everyone who takes part in his life. Those should be very clearly formulated, and all should fulfill them: if the rule applies to one grandmother, then to the second too.

    In the list: Why Do Children Say “My Stomach Hurts” When They are Really Anxious – Education Kids

    3. Spoiled

    Grandmothers have one sin: they pamper their grandchildren. For example, in the family in which the child grows, it can be accepted that each member of the family clean the dishes after themselves after dinner. When staying with grandmother, the child may hear that this is not necessary: ​​the elders are all ready to do it themselves. So the baby falls into dissonance and does not understand how to behave: people important to him require different things from him.

    What to do: It is important to discuss what parents allow when communicating with a child, and what is strictly prohibited. If the point of view does not seem to be right for the grandmother, then you can bring clippings from articles, show books by authoritative authors and prove why you need to do this and not otherwise. It should work, because ultimately it is primarily love for the baby that drives her.

    4. Control of family life

    Embed from Getty Imageswindow.gie=window.gie||function(c){(gie.q=gie.q||[]).push(c)};gie(function(){gie.widgets.load({id:’3qQc3E_aS5lcMh-3bB2jaw’,sig:’wbSd9U89WvWj4RDgaJrItNkkRg2SyThT4TQ-KiMwHwQ=’,w:’594px’,h:’388px’,items:’106492746′,caption: true ,tld:’com’,is360: false })});

    Helping with a child, a grandmother can unwittingly throw attention to your personal family life. Absolutely everything begins to interest her: cooking, shopping, pastime. She may express her dissatisfaction with the fact that mother works too much and does not spend enough time with her offspring: “Why are you playing and not reading?”

    What to do: Learn to build boundaries . When a new family is created, it is important to outline for your mother and mother-in-law a line that they cannot cross. If you don’t want to receive Captain Evidence’s everyday advice, say so immediately, and not after patience begins to end.

    5. Undermining the authority of parents

    The older generation usually has its own view on the upbringing of children and allows itself to express this with his grandchildren. Imagine the situation: the children indulge, the mother tries to calm them and threatens to leave without sweets for their behavior. And then between a mother and children a grandmother gets up with a comment: “Don’t listen to your mother! Stop messing around and go get some ice cream. ” The authority is lost : the children see that their parents are being accounted for, and their words are not put into anything. So there is a risk of developing problematic behavior.

    What to do: Agree that all claims and comments should be voiced without the presence of the baby.

    Explore more: 7 Signs That You are A Good Parent Even if You Doubt It – Kids Education

    6. An example that slows down a child

    Due to too much employment, some parents leave their children with their grandmother for a long time, thinking that it will be better for them. But children learn by copying adult behavior. If mom and dad disappear at work, and the grandmother is left with the baby, then it is the work that will become the reason for the baby why he does not see the closest people. And if adults also complain about how much they get tired, then the child himself will not love to work.

    What to do: Try to adjust the work schedule and often be near children. During his absence during the day, you can ask your grandmother to sit with her grandson, but at every opportunity to take the child home. If the baby grows up with his parents, then in his head a connection will be established over time between their hard work and the joy of the meeting that follows. In a situation where he will spend more time with his grandparents, only occasionally seeing mom and dad, he will form an opinion that he is a burden for parents.

    7. Making responsible decisions

    The process of caring for a child always requires the adoption of very serious decisions . And if mom and dad do not do this, then the grandmother takes up the matter. And her upbringing is distinguished by increased care, bordering on pathology.

    What to do: Parents should take full responsibility for the happiness and health of the baby. Since you are asking for something not to be done – not to feed, not to dress, not to give, not to buy – then provide everything you need. Grandma is ready to dress – tell me what. Ready to feed – tell me what, what, what temperature, in what quantity.

    8. Excessive custody of the child

    Grandmother can wrap her grandson in several layers of clothing in warm weather; not to go for a walk with him, because he might run away, and she is afraid not to catch up; to do homework for him or to do some household chores for him. Definitely she wants to help, but thereby dooms her parents to new problems . After all, to grow up in such conditions their child is much more difficult.

    What to do: Invite the elders to spend time in your house, and let them watch from the side how the child behaves with you, what responsibilities he has at home, and ask them (grandparents) to keep these rules too.

    You also like: Kindergarten Teacher Shared 10+ Secrets Education for Kids

    9. Overfeeding

    According to studies , most children who are in the constant care of grandparents have an increased risk of obesity compared to those who live with their parents. Compassionate elderly people are easily manipulated by smart little ones. They know: it’s worth while taunting and shedding tears, they will immediately be given forbidden food.

    What to do: Familiarize yourself with the  problems that await an overweight child, including illnesses (allergies, diabetes, heart problems, asthma). And with statistics: in the modern world, health is not threatened by hunger, but by an excess of calories.

    Reasons for this behavior

    The need for love. Realization of this need usually leads to the fact that the grandmother begins to fulfill all the whims of the baby. To her behavior has become more adequate, you need to try to change your attitude towards her. Young parents should pay more attention to her and communicate with her. Knowing that she is loved will help her communicate more intelligently with her grandson.

    The need for respect from others. The sphere of upbringing of grandchildren remains the only one for the majority of pensioners where they can feel competent. In this situation, the young family should emphasize as often as possible that they value their mother or mother-in-law, respect her life position and experience.

    Itself needs care. Such people often begin to patronize and take care of others too violently. In an attempt to suppress grandmother’s hyper-custody, do not completely shut yourself off from your grandmother. Decide what kind of help you need, and invite her to help you in this amount. And do not forget to thank for your help and participation.

    It is difficult for a grandmother as a mother to accept the maturation of her child. Therefore, often behind constant monitoring and criticism is the reluctance to realize that her daughter or son has already grown up and are able to make decisions and manage their own lives.

    Which relationship model is optimal

    Friendship is welcome. The older generation has a lot of free time and can organize interesting joint leisure with their grandchildren. Or introduce children to your hobby. For example, if a grandmother loves her cottage, she can take her grandchildren with her and teach her to work. If grandfather loves cars, he may be interested in this and children. Such leisure develops children and strengthens relationships. If the psychological state of the grandchildren is really important to the older generation, then they should make every effort so that there are no conflicts. And create a comfortable environment in which children can develop harmoniously in order to become successful in life.

    Do grandparents spend time with your grandchildren in your family?

    Photo by Adme,  depositphotos

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  • 7 Tips to Help Grow a Strong Personality – Tips to Raise Your Child

    Often excessive love and care of parents lead to the fact that they inadvertently push their child to the subconscious choice of the role of the victim. And then, already in adulthood, these same children constantly complain about life circumstances and the people around them, cannot build healthy relationships, and in any situation they look for a reason to suffer.

    We at Happy Worthy Life collected 7 tips to help you raise a happy child with healthy self-esteem and a sober attitude to life.

    1. Teach your child to cope with unpleasant emotions and guilt

    Children who know how to control their emotions are better at dealing with difficult situations and make the right decisions in life. But not a single child is born with these qualities. The task of the parent is to teach him to cope with such unpleasant feelings as fear, anxiety, anger and sadness. In this case, it is necessary to discipline the behavior of the child, and not his experiences. To experience a different spectrum of emotions is normal, but it is important to deal with them in socially acceptable ways.

    • Help your child understand that unpleasant emotions cannot justify misbehavior. Thus, a feeling of anger does not allow him to offend his sister, and sadness should not lead to the fact that he will sit back for hours.
    • Explain to your child that our mood should not depend on external factors. To do this, work out certain steps with the child to improve his mood in such situations. Some children are reassured by drawing, others – communication with peers.

    Everyone needs an individual approach, but the scheme is the same everywhere: for any manifestation of unpleasant emotions in a child, borrow him with something that he loves, that calms him, and after 5 minutes your child will not remember that he sulked some time ago and sad.

    2. Instill a sense of responsibility for the child, teach him to solve problems on his own

    There will always be problems, and the sooner you teach your child how to deal with them, the more successful and happier he will be. You can start learning basic skills for solving problems in preschool years and help your child hone his skills as he grows older.

    • When a child does not have enough of these skills, he can spend all his time trying to avoid the problem, instead of devoting all his efforts to solving it. Other children, on the contrary, begin to act without being aware of their choice. So, a child can leave the class when classmates tease him, because he simply does not know what to do in such situations.
    • The task of parents is to give the child a clear formula for solving problems. But in no case do not solve problems for your children. Instead, help the child formulate the problem on his own and suggest ways to solve it; let him choose the best one and try it out. So, if a child forgets from time to time his training uniform, then ask him what he can do to prevent this from happening again. Let him independently come up with some solutions.

    In the list: 9 Skills Worth Studying for Good Life and Good Education

    3. Teach your child to help others

    7 Tips to Help Grow a Strong Personality
    Photo by Adme

    From early childhood, it is very important to instill in children kindness and compassion for others. But it’s not enough to explain to the child that you need to help others. It is important to show this by our own example, because, as you know, children learn through imitation of parents.

    • If a child sees that you donate money and time to help those in need, he will do the same. And in the end, the ability to empathize and empathize with others will triumph in the fight against childish egoism.
    • Show your child that all people face difficulties. And then it will be easier to cope with their own problems.

    4. Let your child make mistakes

    Often we hear: “The child needs to be programmed for success from early childhood!”, “The sooner he begins to learn languages, the better he will be able to master them.” The list goes on and on. Moreover, each loving parent considers it his main duty to protect the child from failures and mistakes. As a result, we personally block the very path to success.

    Each time, tying shoelaces to a child or solving a problem instead, you are depriving him of a valuable lesson.

    • Give your children more freedom, let them  make mistakes. The sooner you learn to appreciate the positive aspects of difficulties and let the children benefit from the consequences of failure, the faster you can enjoy your child’s success.

    Your interest: 7 Signs That You are A Good Parent Even if You Doubt It – Kids Education

    5. Do not protect the child from negativity (pain and sadness)

    Our world consists of good and evil. And no matter how hard we try to protect the children from the latter, sooner or later they will still face manifestations of injustice.

    It is foolish to try to build a protective bubble for them, protecting them from all the bad things in the world. After all, by chance this bubble can burst, and you simply lose the trust of your child.

    • Instead of constantly hiding unpleasant situations from him, try to tellhim about them in ways that are appropriate for his age and emotional state.

    6. Do not make the child the center of the universe

    If you build your life so that everything revolves around your child, you run the risk of growing a big egoist who is convinced that everyone should please him.

    • Instead, teach your child to focus on what he has to offer the world, and not what benefit he can bring.

    7. Strengthen your child’s self-esteem and develop self-confidence

    Self-esteem is a person’s idea of ​​the importance of self. But it is formed not only at the expense of our own thoughts and expectations, expectations and the perception of us by parents, teachers, peers, etc. also play an important role.

    • The main thing that you can do in order to develop a healthy self-esteem in a child is simply to love him. Show him how often he is dear to you as often as possible – just like that, for no reason.
    • Ask him to help you with household chores. It’s okay that your preschooler will help you set the table. On the contrary, in this way he will feel useful.
    • Also, do not forget to encourage the child, and not only for the results, but also for attempts and efforts. Help him learn new things and achieve goals. Celebrate his great and small successes. And praise for your efforts and determination.
    • When a child does what you do not like, do not just criticize him, but  explain what he could do instead. So, when your child gets a bad mark, be sure to explain that he needs to work harder to cope with the task next time.
    • Never, even in a joking manner, tell your child that life without him would have been better. This can undermine his self-esteem.
    • Under no circumstances should you criticize or ridicule your child in the presence of others. This can leave an indelible mark on the psyche of the child, and he will never be able to repulse people who will tease and offend him, and such people will definitely be.
    • Do not compare your child with other children, especially brothers and sisters. Each child in your family is individual, has its own strengths and weaknesses.

    What educational methods do you use? Share your findings in the comments!

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