Often excessive love and care of parents lead to the fact that they inadvertently push their child to the subconscious choice of the role of the victim. And then, already in adulthood, these same children constantly complain about life circumstances and the people around them, cannot build healthy relationships, and in any situation they look for a reason to suffer.
We at Happy Worthy Life collected 7 tips to help you raise a happy child with healthy self-esteem and a sober attitude to life.
1. Teach your child to cope with unpleasant emotions and guilt
Children who know how to control their emotions are better at dealing with difficult situations and make the right decisions in life. But not a single child is born with these qualities. The task of the parent is to teach him to cope with such unpleasant feelings as fear, anxiety, anger and sadness. In this case, it is necessary to discipline the behavior of the child, and not his experiences. To experience a different spectrum of emotions is normal, but it is important to deal with them in socially acceptable ways.
- Help your child understand that unpleasant emotions cannot justify misbehavior. Thus, a feeling of anger does not allow him to offend his sister, and sadness should not lead to the fact that he will sit back for hours.
- Explain to your child that our mood should not depend on external factors. To do this, work out certain steps with the child to improve his mood in such situations. Some children are reassured by drawing, others – communication with peers.
Everyone needs an individual approach, but the scheme is the same everywhere: for any manifestation of unpleasant emotions in a child, borrow him with something that he loves, that calms him, and after 5 minutes your child will not remember that he sulked some time ago and sad.
2. Instill a sense of responsibility for the child, teach him to solve problems on his own
There will always be problems, and the sooner you teach your child how to deal with them, the more successful and happier he will be. You can start learning basic skills for solving problems in preschool years and help your child hone his skills as he grows older.
- When a child does not have enough of these skills, he can spend all his time trying to avoid the problem, instead of devoting all his efforts to solving it. Other children, on the contrary, begin to act without being aware of their choice. So, a child can leave the class when classmates tease him, because he simply does not know what to do in such situations.
- The task of parents is to give the child a clear formula for solving problems. But in no case do not solve problems for your children. Instead, help the child formulate the problem on his own and suggest ways to solve it; let him choose the best one and try it out. So, if a child forgets from time to time his training uniform, then ask him what he can do to prevent this from happening again. Let him independently come up with some solutions.
3. Teach your child to help others
From early childhood, it is very important to instill in children kindness and compassion for others. But it’s not enough to explain to the child that you need to help others. It is important to show this by our own example, because, as you know, children learn through imitation of parents.
- If a child sees that you donate money and time to help those in need, he will do the same. And in the end, the ability to empathize and empathize with others will triumph in the fight against childish egoism.
- Show your child that all people face difficulties. And then it will be easier to cope with their own problems.
4. Let your child make mistakes
Often we hear: “The child needs to be programmed for success from early childhood!”, “The sooner he begins to learn languages, the better he will be able to master them.” The list goes on and on. Moreover, each loving parent considers it his main duty to protect the child from failures and mistakes. As a result, we personally block the very path to success.
Each time, tying shoelaces to a child or solving a problem instead, you are depriving him of a valuable lesson.
- Give your children more freedom, let them make mistakes. The sooner you learn to appreciate the positive aspects of difficulties and let the children benefit from the consequences of failure, the faster you can enjoy your child’s success.
5. Do not protect the child from negativity (pain and sadness)
Our world consists of good and evil. And no matter how hard we try to protect the children from the latter, sooner or later they will still face manifestations of injustice.
It is foolish to try to build a protective bubble for them, protecting them from all the bad things in the world. After all, by chance this bubble can burst, and you simply lose the trust of your child.
- Instead of constantly hiding unpleasant situations from him, try to tellhim about them in ways that are appropriate for his age and emotional state.
6. Do not make the child the center of the universe
If you build your life so that everything revolves around your child, you run the risk of growing a big egoist who is convinced that everyone should please him.
- Instead, teach your child to focus on what he has to offer the world, and not what benefit he can bring.
7. Strengthen your child’s self-esteem and develop self-confidence
Self-esteem is a person’s idea of the importance of self. But it is formed not only at the expense of our own thoughts and expectations, expectations and the perception of us by parents, teachers, peers, etc. also play an important role.
- The main thing that you can do in order to develop a healthy self-esteem in a child is simply to love him. Show him how often he is dear to you as often as possible – just like that, for no reason.
- Ask him to help you with household chores. It’s okay that your preschooler will help you set the table. On the contrary, in this way he will feel useful.
- Also, do not forget to encourage the child, and not only for the results, but also for attempts and efforts. Help him learn new things and achieve goals. Celebrate his great and small successes. And praise for your efforts and determination.
- When a child does what you do not like, do not just criticize him, but explain what he could do instead. So, when your child gets a bad mark, be sure to explain that he needs to work harder to cope with the task next time.
- Never, even in a joking manner, tell your child that life without him would have been better. This can undermine his self-esteem.
- Under no circumstances should you criticize or ridicule your child in the presence of others. This can leave an indelible mark on the psyche of the child, and he will never be able to repulse people who will tease and offend him, and such people will definitely be.
- Do not compare your child with other children, especially brothers and sisters. Each child in your family is individual, has its own strengths and weaknesses.
What educational methods do you use? Share your findings in the comments!
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