15 Little Secrets All People Will Like You. These techniques are so simple that they can be used every day without any effort.
1. Remember names
The proper name for any person is the most pleasant combination of sounds. So why not play on it? Remember the names of people and use them. The famous psychologist Dale Carnegie was sure that this technique is guaranteed to increase the number of fans.
For a person with whom you do not contact very often, the very fact that you remember his name will be a pleasant surprise. He will be much surprised and flattered by the attention to his person.
Do not repeat the name of a person literally through every word. Instead, try to immediately remember it when you meet and then apply it when you want to start a conversation.
2. Control your emotions
Technology is gradually replacing living human communication. But people still remain quite social beings, for whom it is important to show emotions.
We subconsciously choose as our interlocutor the person who is closest to us emotionally and does not cause rejection by his behavior. It often happens that the conversation somehow captures the general mood, and then adjust to each other.
If you want to make a favorable impression on someone or make someone’s day a little better, then try to control your mood in order to share only positive emotions with others.
3. Use non-verbal means of communication
Learn to listen. And not just with the ears. Try to show the person that conversation is really important to you using nonverbal means of communication:
- Mirror the interlocutor – copy his pose or manner of speech, but do not get carried away too much, otherwise he may think that you are mimicking him.
- Keep eye contact – no one likes talking to someone who is looking in the wrong direction. It is not clear whether he is actually listening, or busy with his thoughts.
- Nod, smile, gesticulate, but in moderation.
Behave naturally, do not try to use all means of nonverbal communication at the same time.
4. Practice active listening
The ability to listen carefully to the person you are talking to is very important to maintain a constructive conversation. You will be much more liked by others if you concentrate on maintaining the conversation, rather than on something outsider. Try to master the active listening technique to demonstrate how attentive you can be to your interlocutor.
Active listening is a special method of demonstrating attention, which is used in psychology and psychotherapy. It is used when you need to show the interlocutor that you understand and share his feelings, and are also ready to offer your help.
The most common methods of active listening:
- Paraphrase (retelling) is a brief repetition of what the interlocutor said in his own words.
- Clarification – clarification and clarification of additional details of the story in order to present the situation most fully and in detail.
- The message of perception is a verbal demonstration to the interlocutor that you understand him. The phrases “I understand how hard it is for you”, “I imagine how you feel now” and other similar ones will do.
- Pauses are shown to the interlocutor that you carefully consider and rethink the words spoken by him.
In addition, you can and should ask the interlocutor relevant questions, but in no case should you interrupt him.
5. Provide feedback
To make it clear that you really care about him, raise the topic that was discussed with him earlier.
Did your colleague say that his son will have a matinee on the weekend? Ask to tell how it went. Your friend said that he was going to rearrange the furniture and repaint the kitchen in a new color over the weekend? Ask what came of it and if he likes the result.
It is not necessary to always discuss some very important and global topics . Life consists of many small and insignificant at first glance events. Attention and interest in them gives rise to conversations. People are pleased and flattering when someone is interested in the details of their life.
6. Do not skimp on praise
True praise differs significantly from gross flattery, which is very easy to recognize. Remember: nobody likes toadies.
People crave approval, but rarely get it. Much more often criticism and ironic remarks are heard.
Dale Carnegie, best-selling author of communication skills
Sincere admiration for the work done on conscience, the realization that the efforts made have been noticed and appreciated, is what people really want to hear. Do not skimp on words and praise sincerely.
7. Criticize constructively and substantially
Be generous in praise, but don’t get carried away with criticism . People are extremely vulnerable. Even not very offensive words can greatly hurt pride. Sometimes you can’t do without criticism. Remember that in these cases, it should be constructive and not bear a negative color. If someone makes a mistake, do not scold him publicly. Be considerate and delicate.
Use the sandwich technique. Its essence is that any critical review is built according to the following scheme: praise, criticism, praise.
Bad example. Lisa, you have such beautiful hair, but the report, unfortunately, you made just disgusting. By the way, where did you buy this awesome sweater?
Good example. The report you sent me looks very impressive. Good work, only in a quick look I seem to have noticed a few errors. I can, of course, be mistaken, but it would be nice to check. By the way, I forgot to say: the last post on Facebook that you wrote about our company has such a large coverage that it cannot but rejoice.
The purpose of criticism should be to let the other person acknowledge their mistakes on their own, without your direct reference to them. In the example we examined above, one could simply say: “Again you have some ridiculous mistakes in the report. Correct them at last. ” And just wait for the response.
A person will certainly begin to apologize and promise to reform. No need to take it for granted. Try to encourage him: say that you don’t have to worry, convince him that he will certainly acquire the necessary skill and in the future you will no longer have similar problems.
Before you start criticizing someone, think twice. Make comments only when it is truly necessary.
8. Do not order, but offer
Few people like it when they talk to him in an orderly tone and force them to do not the most pleasant things. But what about those situations when you really need something from a person?
You can get what you want by simply asking the right questions. The result will be exactly the same, only a person will not feel humiliated and offended.
Bad example. Ivan, I definitely need these reports today. And livelier!
Good example. Ivan, tell me, will you manage to deal with this report until tonight? I would really appreciate it!
The difference seems to be obvious.
9. Be a living person, not a robot.
Self-confidence makes a person more attractive to others. But here it is important to maintain a balance and not begin to seem all self-confident and pompous. You should have a character and an inner core, but do not go too far.
To make others sympathize with you, be honest with them. Do not get out of your way, trying to seem that person who you are not. People quickly recognize falsity. You must admit that it’s hard to treat a person whom you cannot trust.
Be consistent. If you want to seem like a person you can rely on, then guarantee that you will treat them well regardless of your mood.
Watch how you behave and serve. Forget about arrogance and arrogance, try to help people as much as possible.
10. Master storytelling
People love fascinating stories , so try to become a good storyteller. Storytelling is a special form of art that requires skill. You will need to learn how to correctly formulate your thoughts, focus on the most interesting points, follow the speech and not bother the interlocutors. Learn to hold and attract people’s attention, then they will begin to reach for you.
11. Do not be distracted by the phone
If you are talking with someone, then take the smartphone away. Nothing distracts from the conversation so much as constant cursory glances at the screen during a conversation, as well as the sounds of incoming messages and notifications. This makes it difficult to concentrate on the conversation and pretty annoying.
Any conversation will be much more pleasant if you are completely absorbed in it.
Focus on the content of the conversation. The phone is not going anywhere from you, but a person may well.
12. Do not be afraid to ask for advice
This seems to be one of the easiest ways to make people love you. When you ask for advice, you demonstrate to the person that his opinion is important and valuable to you. You show that you respect him.
When you give a person the opportunity to feel important and significant, when he realizes that you cannot cope without his help, then he begins to feel sympathy for you.
13. Avoid cliches
Let’s be honest: no one likes boring people. They are yawning predictably and terribly uninteresting. We most often like bright, extraordinary, original and sometimes even bizarre people.
A trivial example: imagine that you are interviewing someone. Instead of at the end telling your interlocutor the catchphrase “I was glad to meet you,” try making some adjustments. Say instead: “I really enjoyed talking” or “Glad we finally got to know each other better.”
No need to reinvent the wheel – be yourself and show your imagination.
14. Ask questions
Take an interest in the life of the people you want to have a good relationship with. Ask about their interests, hobbies, the books they read, and the films they watch. This is an unmistakable way to gain attention.
People are egocentric and most of all they like to talk about themselves. If you allow the interlocutor this small weakness, he will subconsciously mark you as an exceptionally pleasant person.
15. Be objective
No one wants to deal with a person who has completely and irrevocably driven something into his head and is not ready to change his mind. If you want to please others, be open-minded. To get rid of prejudice, try to look at the world differently: listen to the opinions of others, compare it with your own and try to come to some kind of compromise decision.
Add little secrets to your normal behavior and watch your famous.
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