Top 10 Common Bad Habits – Annoyance is a feeling that residents of big cities experience almost every day. Slow pedestrians, clicks with finger joints, a passenger in an adjacent chair looking into your phone – all this can unbalance in a matter of seconds.
We at Happy Worthy Life read the book “The Science of Irritation: What Pisses Me Off” and we were surprised to find that people who test our nervous system for strength have reasons to behave this way, and this does not always happen intentionally. And by the way, in half the cases, it is in us, and not in those around us.
1. Leave dirty dishes
No one likes washing dishes. Dan Carlson, associate professor of family and consumption studies at the University of Utah, notes that washing dishes, unlike some other household chores, such as cooking or gardening, is not rewarded, which is why the family members are least enthusiastic. Sometimes they even go for a trick: they leave a small piece of food in a pan or pan so that there is an excuse not to wash it.
But there is another explanation, especially if lazy does not apply to other household duties. The fact is that after eating – especially meat, poultry, cheese and eggs – serotonin is released in the body, which tells the brain that it would be nice to take a nap. So, perhaps the reason for the appearance of dirty plates in the sink is the wrong diet, and not lazy at all.
2. Demonstratively overspend
Perhaps among your acquaintances there is such a person: he always seeks to leave more tips, pay the bill and demonstrate his financial well-being in every possible way. Do not rush to criticize and mock him: this behavior is often caused by serious psychological problems.
Bragging can be a protective mechanism against complexes and fears that are hidden deep inside. People who like to demonstrate (or imitate) their superiority probably have not received parental attention and care in childhood.
3. Talking loudly on the phone in a public place
Some people do not hesitate to loudly discuss their affairs on the phone in the presence of strangers, whether their friends or completely strangers. In accordance with modern rules of etiquette, talking on the phone, forcing others to become involuntary listeners of your conversation, is a bad man, although it was relatively impolite not to answer the call.
But why is this annoying us more than the usual communication in which we hear both interlocutors? There is a theory according to which, having caught an extraneous telephone conversation, our brain goes into “dialogue mode” and tries to predict the next cue. But since we don’t hear half of what was said, the usual scenario is not respected, and as a result we feel discomfort.
And the person who is next to your ear screams joyfully into the phone, on the contrary, feels a sense of satisfaction. After all, when an extrovert shares emotions with others, dopamine is released – a hormone that is an important part of the “reward system.”
4. Leave voice messages in instant messengers
The problem and the main contradiction of voice messages is that they are convenient for the sender and sometimes extremely inconvenient for the recipient. The first, while recording a message, can do other things, such as driving a car or going to work. And the second is forced to use headphones and listen to the message several times, if something is not understood.
Sometimes there are situations when voice messages are more appropriate than text messages, for example, when it is important to convey intonation. In addition, it is worth considering that the number of phone calls is rapidly declining every year. 25% of Britons who own smartphones do not use them for calls. This is due to the fear of telephone conversations, which is characteristic of millennials. So do not judge them too harshly.
5. Touch a person during a conversation or get too close
There are people who are unfamiliar with the concept of “personal space.” They get too close during the conversation and, even worse, sometimes they even touch us. Neuroscientists from Caltech found that damage to the amygdala may be the reason that some people are not aware of the discomfort that they cause while violating personal space.
Anthropologists who specialize in proxemics (a science that studies the interaction of people in space) argue that the size of personal space is different for everyone, due to many factors and can vary depending on circumstances. However, the reaction of others to the invasion of personal space is always the same – discomfort.
If you are not sure that everything is in order with your amygdala, just remember that in the Western world, a distance of 1-3 m is considered a suitable distance for communicating with unfamiliar people.
6. Pull your belongings off the luggage racks as soon as the plane landed
People who fly often will surely encounter this phenomenon: as soon as the plane lands, passengers break away from their seats, pull things from luggage racks and, pushing, rush to the exit. Although most of them know that this will not help them leave the airport faster: you still have to wait for baggage claim.
However, this behavior can be observed on every flight, and it is annoying. There are several reasons why air travelers behave this way. First of all, people hate queues. It seems to them that, having jumped from a place, they will take a place closer to the exit. Secondly, the herd feeling and the element of competition are triggered here. Thirdly, not only those who suffer from claustrophobia experience discomfort when they are in an enclosed space.
This feeling intensifies when movement stops. If you ever had to take the subway train, which stopped in the tunnel, you probably remember that unpleasant feeling – and the relief when the train started off again.
7. Flick a pen, tap on the table, fiddle with various objects
People often do not think about these useless movements: they shake or shake their feet, tap their fingers on the table, click the ballpoint pen without noticing it. But it’s hard for others to concentrate on something else. Flicking a pen or tapping your fingers on a tree is a common trigger for many people.
However, before pulling the pen out of the interlocutor’s hands and throwing it out of the window, remember that perhaps the person who pisses you off with such clicks thus gets rid of anxiety. Fidgeting is a disorder that manifests itself in repetitive movements or an unconscious game with small objects.
Among the causes of fidgeting are attention deficit disorder, nervousness, and autism spectrum disorders. But if you are so annoyed by harmless, in general, clicks or taps, then it’s time to think about the reasons for your own misophony.
8. Looking into someone else’s phone
For this phenomenon in the English-speaking world, they also came up with a special term: shoulder surfing – “surfing over the shoulder”. 97% of people looked at someone else’s phone at least once in their lives. But only a few did it intentionally and with malicious intent.
Of course, it’s unpleasant when someone reads your personal correspondence, but it should be borne in mind that most people looking at other people’s phones did not think to spy: most likely, they were just bored. During a trip to the subway, the brain automatically determines the screen of someone else’s phone as the most interesting object, and it can be very difficult to resist the innocuous temptation to peep at what others are living with.
And given the fact that approximately 80% of metro passengers use smartphones or tablets, you need to try to find such a point so that your eyes do not fall on anyone’s screen. If you want to protect yourself from prying eyes, buy a special protective screen through which you can not see anything at an angle. There are also special applications that obscure the part of the screen that you would like to hide.
9. Walk slowly in the subway / airport
The annoyance experienced by pedestrians, not being able to overtake those who are slow, is so mundane that it even has a special name – sidewalk rage. This phrase can be translated as “pedestrian anger.”
Marc Wittmann , a psychologist at the Institute for Border Areas of Psychology and Mental Health (Freiburg, Germany), argues that annoyance is primarily due to our own ideas about how much time we should spend on the road, even if we are in no hurry.
Also, people tend to consider slow pedestrians violators of the unwritten system of rules, which supposedly requires walking at a certain speed. But actually it is not. All move at different speeds, based on the physical capabilities and settings of the “internal timer”. So, the next time you catch yourself thinking of a slow pedestrian as a bad word, think about the fact that, for Usain Bolt, the slowest pedestrian is you.
10. Finger joints
Previously, adults scared children with arthritis, which would certainly develop from a “snap of the fingers.” A recent study disproved this popular belief: wringing your fingers to hear a characteristic crunch is generally safe, although this activity can affect the strength of your wrists if you abuse it.
Physiotherapist from New York Scott Weiss in an interview with The Thirty portal said that the desire to stretch the joints is as natural as the urge to stretch in the morning or after a long working day. Thus, the joints are stretched and the pressure inside them decreases, creating a feeling of relief in the hands. However, taking into account the already mentioned misophony, it is better to do it alone.
Many of the actions of others, which sometimes infuriate us, are caused by completely harmless reasons and are often committed unintentionally. Perhaps our actions and habits also annoy someone. Have you ever wondered what makes some people uncomfortable with outsiders?