In childhood, we together believed in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and beautiful princesses. However, adult life is far from always like a fairy tale: after the wedding, we do not become happier, children may not love their parents for no reason, and no one appreciates loyalty and devotion.
We at Happy Worthy Life took courage and decided to look in the face of unsightly truths. And all so that you are ready for any twist of fate.
1. Parents unknowingly influence partner choice
Psychologists say that people are involuntarily drawn to partners who are somewhat similar to their parents. Women choose a husband who cannot be distinguished from their father, and men unconsciously seek their mother all their lives. True, this applies only to those whose parents were not role models.
It used to be that we would give preference to a representative of the opposite s.x, who would be as caring, gentle, kind as our dad or mom. However, it’s just the opposite: bad parents (alcoholics, cruel or abandoned family) “force” their children to choose a partner with exactly the same problems.
It would seem that there is no logic in such a choice, but the unconscious is working here: it only wants to cure children’s wounds. People who communicate with troubled partners unconsciously seek to let go of their childhood grievances. However, such a relationship can be destructive and certainly will not save you from any injuries.
2. Marriage has nothing to do with happiness
According to surveys, the newlyweds are much happier than single people. True, their happiness does not last long due to the effect of the honeymoon. Shortly before the wedding and 1-3 years after it, they flutter with joy. But then, the level of satisfaction with life among the newlyweds steadily decreases and can be compared with that of people who decide to live on their own.
Scientists have come to the conclusion that optimists both in marriage and outside feel good. But persons prone to depression, marriage will not help get rid of problems. In addition, some studies report that single people who have a reliable rear in the form of friends and family are no less happy than married people.
3. Female friendships are just the result of hormone release
In any incomprehensible or alarming situation, the hormone testosterone is released into the bloodstream of men, which provokes the “hit or run” reaction. With women, it’s a completely different matter: their glands begin to produce the hormone oxytocin, which forces them to protect offspring and gather in groups for protection.
That’s why when girls feel bad, they first call their mom or girlfriend. And this is partly the secret of female longevity. Men traditionally hold emotions in themselves, which causes heart diseases. Women, having shared their grief with their friends, let off steam and, as a result, feel better.
4. Most children hate their parents at certain times (And it doesn’t matter how well you raised your offspring)
Psychologists call this phenomenon “teenage allergy to the parent.” On the one hand, the child already feels adult and independent, and on the other, he is very attached to his parents. There is an internal conflict, and the child outwardly begins to behave as if he hates his father and mother. Moreover, the boys prefer to leave (they dodge kisses and hugs), and the girls make claims in person and try to hurt them harder.
However, if an “allergy to parents” haunts people who have left adolescence, this is already a big problem. Moreover, in its occurrence it is not the older generation that is guilty, but the child who grew up. Psychologists say that mother and father are responsible for the upbringing, but are not responsible for who their offspring is in adulthood.
5. Any woman who has money can look like a star
Movie stars and glossy magazines accustom us to unrealistic ideals of beauty. In an effort to be like celebrities, ordinary people leave about $ 400 billion annually in stores and beauty salons. However, without a couple of millions of dollars in your pocket, it is almost impossible to get close to this ideal.
The average woman spends $ 15 thousand for her personal care for her whole life, and, for example, the star of Friends, Jennifer Aniston – $ 145 thousand a year. Diets, cosmetics and other beauty treatments will not bring you closer to the desired image, simply because the celebrities you want to be like are several times richer than you.
6. Women who have been waiting for a prince all their lives suffer from a dangerous syndrome
Cinderella Syndrome is a thinking disorder that occurs primarily in women, but also in men. In the presence of this deviation, it seems to a person that his whole life is filled with torment: they do not respect at work, friends do not value, the whole world is opposed. However, Cinderella meekly endures the hardships of fate and believes that all torment will turn into a reward for her.
The classic picture of the syndrome looks like this: a person lives in expectation that somewhere in the world there is a wonderful prince or uncle-millionaire who will solve his problems in one fell swoop. Other variants of the typical Cinderella seem ridiculous.
According to some versions, Cinderella syndrome occurs in people who are panicky afraid of success and need the approval of others. For women, this disorder is dangerous because it pushes them into the hands of abusers.
7. Childbirth does not change a woman’s life for the better
Doctors observe positive changes that turn a woman almost into a psychic: for example, after childbirth, women become susceptible to the feelings of others. However, the sad consequences are much greater: post-traumatic stress disorder, which can come back in a few years, as well as overweight, increased hip size and others.
There are more exotic changes: for example, an increase in foot size due to softening of the ligaments and loss of teeth. The more children a woman gives birth to, the more teeth she will lose. Scientists estimate that women 35-49 years old with 1 child lose an average of 2 teeth within a couple of years after giving birth.
8. Love cannot last long
According to neuroscientists, love can be explained by a cocktail of hormones. A tumultuous mixture of estrogen, testosterone, dopamine, adrenaline and oxytocin explains both “butterflies in the stomach” and sleepless nights. However, you won’t last long on chemistry alone: over time, the concentration of hormones decreases and couples discover that love has worn off.
Psychologists say that you will have to work hard on maintaining feelings: going on dates (even if you have been living together for 15 years), sharing news and hugging each other more.
9. The partner will not appreciate your loyalty and humility
Scientists estimate that millennials get married much later than their parents. And all because people finally appreciated the benefits of personal space and a woman of 25 years is not considered an old maid. However, having met “that same one”, we strive to spend all the time with him and make a monstrous mistake.
Psychologists say that the partner, as a rule, will not appreciate the sacrifices made for him. Rather, the opposite: independence attracts more representatives of the opposite s.x than exclusive devotion.
Have you ever met people who suffer from Cinderella’s syndrome or are offended by their own parents?
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